Short Summer

Short Summer

(c) by Sugiura-kun 2008
 

This Story is for everyone! Really.
 

Short Summer
 

That year, that is to say just the spring of that year I had turned 17 and somehow that summer I was invited to the birthday party of a guy I’d never even seen in my whole life.

Don’t get me wrong, he didn’t invite me himself.

It was one of my friends who was playing football in one team with him who took me there.

However, that evening this guy way celebrating his 21st birthday.

I and three other boys went there by car. The guy who was owning the car was Simon, a 19-year-old highschooler who picked me up every morning to drive with him to school.

He also was the guy who was playing in one football team with that guy we were going to meet. Under the four boys in the car was also my best friend Thom who would only turn 17 in winter.

I finally came to know that this guy whose party we were going to join was called Barry.

I really never had heard of any Barry before.

Well, maybe Simon once had told me something about him but I couldn’t quite remember anything.

But somehow it didn’t feel weird to never having heard of some guy whose party one would be visiting.

I for my part only knew that I had a very big bag full of bottles of vodka on my lap.

Those years, as long as one was young and energetic everyone wanted to have fun and nothing more.

Suddenly Simon started talking: ‘You guys back there, have you ever had a girl?’

Thom and I obviously were the guys “back there”.

Thom didn’t say anything and I blushed.

‘You didn’t did ya? I’m sure we’ll find some really nice gals for you, then.’
 

Simon seemed to have known about the purpose of that party of Barry’s.

Getting drunk, find yourself a girl and have some fun for the rest of the night.

But I was way too shy to just go over and start talking to one of the girls.

And, honestly I didn’t want to either.

I was homosexual.

Yeah, it’s true.

So I didn’t expect anything of this evening.
 

We seemed to be quite late.

I mean, not really too late but the house was already crowded and a horribly laughing girl opened the door after we rang.

Bottles and glasses were standing around anywhere.

I found myself a place on a sofa together with Thom.

I didn’t want to sit all alone only with strangers, so I searched until there was a possibility to sit next to each other.

We started talking and drinking, and after a while it wasn’t so hard to start a talk with someone unknown anymore.

At anytime, Simon came around again, in a pretty good mood, a girl on one arm, just in that moment laughing out loud.

‘Hey folks are you doing fine? I don’t have to watch over you kiddies have I?’

He started laughing again. Then the two of them turned around and disappeared in the crowd again.

Thom looked at me. ‘Weird guy, isn’t he?’ he asked.

I didn’t manage to answer because in this moment a pretty huge guy came into our direction.

He stopped in front of us and, friendly smiling asked us: ‘And who are you, dudes?’

I got a little nervous, somehow the guy frightened me.

Maybe he would tell us to go because he didn’t know us?

‘Er, we are friends of Simon. He plays football with you.’ Thom said.

‘Aaaaaaaaah!’ the guy said way too loud. Several people turned their heads around.

‘So you’re….hm…Stan und Todd?’ He suddenly burped loudly.

‘Ehh…not exactly. I don’t know of whom he told you, but we’re Thom and Sam’ I answered.

‘Ah, I knew it was something like that! So you’re Sam and Thom. Nice to meet you’ He said, and gave Thom and me his hand.

Tom leaned back again in his seat and started: ‘And who are…’ but he was interrupted by the guy.

‘Oh, ‘m sorry. I didn’t even introduce myself. I’m Barry.’

Somehow…I can’t really explain it.

Somehow I had imagined Barry just in the way he appeared to us that moment.

Tall, broad shoulders, muscular, short cut hair.

Just that type of man you can best imagine playing football.

But on the other side I totally disliked the way he appeared in.

I’d never liked those football players. They always were the first ones to bully other people.

I hated it.

But he also looked friendly.

Sexy.

Suddenly Barry turned around, searching for something or someone.

As he found and fixed what he was looking for he started shouting:

‘Simon, Simon, my friend! What’s up?’

He turned back to Thom and me, saying ‘Waiddaminute, alright?’ turned back and made his way through the boys and girls dancing up to Simon.

Suddenly I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Thom’s hand.

I turned my head around towards him and saw that a girl standing next to the sofa had taken his arm. We looked each other in the eye for a second, I started smiling and said: ‘Well, have fun then.’

But he stayed serious. ‘Don’t get too carried away, alright?’ Then he stood up and disappeared anywhere.

After he had gone, I felt a little empty.

Around me, everywhere was movement and joy. And I was just sitting alone on that sofa.

But in that moment, Barry was coming back.

He brought two bottles of beer.

‘Wanna go outside a bit? Cooling our heads?’

I stood up and followed him, outside into the dark garden.

From the inside the sounds were still well audible. There was music, shouts, screams, laughter, things falling to the ground, slamming doors.

Outside, on the veranda, with light only shining from the inside, these noises suddenly became background for a big orchestra of insects in the velvet night.

I leaned on the railing and stared into the black.

Barry stood next to me on the right hand side. The air was clear and cool, very comfortable in comparison to the temperature and smell in the living room and hall.

With his elbows, Barry too propped himself up on the railing.

He looked to me and our eyes met. He sighed and turned his head up to the sky.

‘So, now that we’ve made friends, tell me a bit about you.’ He took a sip from his bottle.

Looking at him while he drank, I saw that the bottle had to be almost empty because he had to raise it highly. When he finally stopped and looked at me, I saw that he was still waiting for an answer.

‘Oh, er…I’m…seventeen and…oh I like baseball! Oh, and football, too, of course.’

‘You don’t have to say that only because Simon told you I play football.’

‘Oh no, it’s really cool. I wished I had begun anytime too, but I never did. I wish I had some more muscles…just like you.’

Barry sighed and bent to the ground to put down his bottle.

‘Don’t be sad. Sometimes I wished I hadn’t started. Sometimes I wanna be one of those, you know, normal boys. I’m always considered as one of the bad boys. Tall, muscular, a footballer. I’m not that bad of a guy after all.’

I laughed quietly. Somehow he really was a nice guy.

Somehow it even fascinated me how he could talk like that. He really didn’t fit into the picture of a normal football-player.

‘And what about the girls? You have a girlfriend?’ Barry asked into the dark garden.

‘Oh no, I’m not so much into…oh, just forget it. I don’t have one.’ I said unsure.

‘Did you just want to say you weren’t so much into girls? Dear god…you a queer? Or just a nerd or somethin’?’ he said amused.

‘Oh my, no of course I am not!’ I shouted out.

‘But you’re virgin right? You look like one, really.’ he whispered.

For a second I was shocked. Why was it of his business to know if I was a virgin or not?

I somehow found that I hadn’t to give an answer to that kind of intimate question to an almost stranger.

‘I…’ I stopped. What was I going to say?

His face suddenly was close to mine.

‘Want me to do you the favour? You want it, right? I’ll do it for you, little fag.’

I was unable to speak a word for a moment.

What to answer to that proposal of a 21-year-old almost-professional football player?

Was he really asking me to…spend a night with…no, that sounded too romantic.

Was he really asking me to have sex with him?

I couldn’t explain this to me other than that he was trying to make a fool out of me.

I tried to suppress a tremble in my voice. I didn’t want him to know that I was almost fading of anxiety that very moment.

‘Are you…’ I bit my lower lip. ‘Are you kidding me? Do you want me to believe that shit of yours?’

That was all I was able to say.

He suddenly turned towards me, grabbed my shoulders and pressed his lips on mine.

I couldn’t breath. Chills ran through my body when I felt he was about to put his tongue into my mouth.

Suddenly I heard girls’ voices coming closer.

He let go of me just in time to beware us of being seen kissing and turned around towards the dark again.

‘Come.’
 

Through the kitchen, then upstairs. No one was around.

He was pushing me forwards, one hand on my left shoulder.

First door on second floor, left hand side. The room was rather tidy, the bed was made.
 

He didn’t turn on the light. Somehow I was relieved about that.

Somehow I didn’t want him to see my body. It was something I wanted to spare for the first person to do it with me I was in love with.

I felt fear boiling up within me, but at the same time hot arousal.

He was in front of me, so close I could feel his hot, short breath in my face.

Our lips met. Suddenly I was unable to move any further, only my tongue inside my mouth against his. My head was spinning.

It felt hot and I wanted more of it but at the same time I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to forget about this or if it would just be a good memory.

I knew it wouldn’t be, but I couldn’t stop either.

He unbuttoned my shirt and stroked my bare skin with his right hand.

‘Lay down there on the bed.’

I was already unable to decide anything on my own and so I just obeyed what he told me.

I felt his hot breath next to my collarbone and his left hand on my belt.

He tried to open it but he didn’t manage getting it done.

For a moment he knelt over me, one knee between my spread legs, opening the belt and the buttons of my jeans.

‘Raise your hips.’

He pulled my jeans and shorts down to my knees and finally removed them fully.

For a moment he looked at my exposed body.

‘Wow’ he sighed and laid down on me again.

Somehow, I found his body heavy and comfortable at the same time.

I started to relax a little.

And then his hands sent me floating into completely different spheres.
 

I don’t really remember what happened afterwards.

I mean, I remember the sex. But there’s not much memory left of my way home afterwards.

I came down the stairs, trembling, confused, with Barry’s arm around my waist.

Most people had gone until then and only few people were still sitting around, talking quietly.

Barry discovered Simon. He said something like ‘Gotta carry him to your car.’

Simon jumped up, took my left arm and put it around his shoulders.

After they had placed me on a back seat of Simon’s car, they were talking for a few minutes.

I didn’t understand a word of what they talked about.

Finally, Simon got into the car, too, and started the motor. Probably he was way too drunk to drive safely. But in this moment, of course I didn’t care.

Simon turned his head back to me.

‘What did you do?’

‘…What? Nothing. Just talk.’ I wondered if there was any chance Simon wouldn’t discover this of being a lie.

‘Barry told me.’

‘Damn.’

‘Don’t worry, I won’t tell anybody. And he’s a nice guy. Just don’t expect anything more of this.’ He sighed.

‘Yeah, right.’

I closed my eyes.
 

I woke up in my bed the next morning, my whole body aching terribly.

My head felt like bursting and all my bones broken.

So that was what people called a “hangover”.

One by one, my memories came back to me.

Lots of alcohol, lots and lots of vodka.

Extremely loud music all evening long.

Having sex with a man. A man I’d never before met in my life.

That kind of sex, me being passive.

Simon who asked me what we had done. Simon exactly knowing what we had done.

For a moment I didn’t move, then I suddenly had to bend over the edge of my bed to not to puke on it but on the carpet instead.

My mother, by any chance having heard the sound of me throwing up, knocked on the door.

‘Sam? Are you alright? Can I come in?’ she anxiously asked through the closed door.

But before I could wipe my mouth to answer her question she came in.

Seeing me, still bent over, she screamed and ran towards me.

‘Oh dear god! What is it?!’
 

It was Sunday so I hadn’t to worry about not going to school or anything, but this Sunday was the worst in my whole life.

Not only the physical pain, also the thoughts rushing through my head on and on.

Had it been right to let my self get seduced by that man?

Otherwise…when again would I have had the chance to come close to another male?

I passed the rest of the day, throwing up, sleeping, getting myself confused about my strange feelings.

I couldn’t help it. Somehow I needed to talk to Barry once again.
 

The next morning, I felt a lot better than before.

It was a normal school day after all so my mom decided I had to go to school if there was no puking of me anymore.

So I left the house and like everyday I was picked by Simon.

‘Hey Sammy. Barry asked for you after all. Didn’t want to give him your number. So he gave me his instead. Maybe you should call him.’

‘Since when is it you’re calling me Sammy? That’s gross.’

‘Since I saw you kissing another man with full passion, dear.’

I felt anger rising within me. This was nothing to joke around about after all.

Didn’t he understand that this was something most embarrassing in my whole life?

Nope, he didn’t. After all, I found he really was a jerk. I just hadn’t noticed.
 

In front of the building I left his car without another word.

‘Hey! Sammy! Sammy…Sam! Wait! You know I didn’t mean it like that! We’re friends, aren’t we? Come on now, get your arse back to my car and at least fetch his number, man.’

When turning back, I felt even worse. Now I really was a poor jerk, burying his pride for the phone number of a dude he had been fucked by.

Packing a small folded piece of paper in my breast pocket, I tried not to look into Simon’s eyes.

Bent down to the car’s door, he suddenly placed one hand on my shoulder.

‘Hey’, he said, ‘It will be alright. It’s no problem for me. You know that you can always count on me. Do me the favour and don’t be too desperate about it all. At least we’re neither in Texas nor in Ohio. You won’t die because of it.’ he said, stupidly smiling.

‘My first time also was a catastrophe. Don’t bother so much. You know, it will improve.

And if not with Barry, then you’ll find another one.’

I almost couldn’t hold back my tears. I felt my lips twitching.

‘Thanks then. Bye.’ I said, trying to control myself.

‘Tomorrow, boy.’ he said, letting go of my shoulder.

I slammed the car’s door, turned towards the school building and my way to the front door.

Somehow, the things Simon had said made a lot of sense.

Somehow, the things Simon had said made me think I was totally lost.
 

‘Hello, this is Moss.’

‘…Barry?’

‘Oh, hey there. You finally called me, that’s great. How are you?’

‘Oh I’m…I’m just fine.’

‘No pain?’

‘Oh yeah, yesterday. I was kind of sick then.’

‘Because of me?’

‘Oh no. OH! NO! Of course not because of…you.’

‘You wanna come over then? For a coke or somethin’?’

I somehow had a bad feeling about this. But I couldn’t deny his proposal anyway.

‘Yeah.’
 

Without all those people in there, Barry’s house seemed to be even bigger.

No one except for Barry was at home but somehow I had heard that in the way he spoke to me.

‘Let’s go to my room. Up there.’ He pointed towards the stairs.

‘Yeah…I remember it was that way.’

‘Oh, yeah of course. Just go up. I’ll follow you in a minute, gotta go fetch the coke.’

So I went upstairs alone.

Somehow I felt threatened.

There was no one there, only Barry and me.

I entered his room, directly under the roof. First I sat down on his bed, but suddenly I remembered what exactly had happened here and I stood up instantly.

Instead, I sat down on the simple chair in front of Barry’s desk.

The whole room was uncomfortably tidy and I became more nervous any second.

I let my eyes move through the whole room.

I hadn’t seen it at daytime until now.

Well, afterwards Barry had turned on a light, but by this time I was so sick and tired I hadn’t even really noticed it.

Now I saw all the details, everything perfectly clean and on its correct place.

Somehow it was weird to imagine guys like Barry that held their rooms so perfectly tidy.

To my mind, it just didn’t fit.

He hadn’t even posters of football-stars at his walls. And now sexy girls either.

I turned towards his desk.

Even here, everything nice and clean. I wondered how and why he managed to have everything in such a nice order.

My room always was kind of messed and I didn’t really care about a bit of dirt and things lying around.

The door opened. I stopped thinking about rooms. It wasn’t really an interesting subject to think about either. Maybe later at home or so, but not now.

I concentrated on Barry again. He placed my glass of coke on his desk.

Then he sat down on his bed, his own glass in his right hand.

‘Was there a special reason you called me?’ he asked.

‘I…well, Simon said you wanted me to call you or something and gave me your number so I thought better if I call you…’

‘Didn’t you want to see me again?’

‘I…well…somehow, yeah. But…this between us was only a, you know, kinda one-shot thing wasn’t it.’ I said nervously.

‘Yeah yeah, ‘course it was. Hope you didn’t expect anything from it would ya?’ he answered relaxed.

I was relieved and somewhat disappointed at the same time.

‘What did you want me to call you for then?’ I asked back.

‘Tell you it only was a one-shot thing.’

‘Oh.’ Silence for half a minute. Do you know how long half a minute can be when nobody’s talking and the only thing you can do with your hands is holding a glass of coke and taking a sip or two of it? Yeah, you know. Everyone knows these kinds of situations.

Suddenly Barry cleared his throat.

‘This was your first time, wasn’t it? I hope you aren’t to sad about that it turned out like that.

You see, we were both drunk and I only took a chance…forget about it. I don’t want to try to apologize for my behaviour. Please forgive me for taking your innocence.’

I felt my cheeks blushing.

‘Oh…no, you don’t have to. This was what we both wanted that moment.

No one carries more of the blame than the other…right?’

Barry suddenly stood up and came over to my chair. He put his glass on the desk.

‘Man, Sam. You really are a cute one. If we had met under other circumstances, maybe this would have been my big love. If it had been.’

He stood very close in front of me while I was still sitting, now looking up to him.

‘Now I can only hope that we’ll make real friends after all the things having happened.’

He leaned down and gave me a kiss on the lips.

Though it was our lips that met, I knew it was friendship that showed in this kiss.

Maybe it would be the last kiss between us forever.

‘Thank you. Let’s make friends then. I don’t want to do anything like that ever again. You definitely have deserved someone better than me.’

I didn’t know what to answer to that.

Afterwards he brought me down and we said good bye.

Somehow it felt great to have a friend like Barry. Under the surface of his appearance, how I knew now, there was so much more to discover.

And I really wanted to discover all of his facets.
 

Somehow my experience with Barry had given me more self-confidence.

Suddenly it bothered me that my best friend Thom still didn’t know about my preferences.

Until now I had always thought that I was the only one who felt like that, but know where I had met Barry, I had gained enough confidence to tell Thom.

A best friend isn’t someone you shouldn’t tell important things like that.

A week or so later, at a hot cup of chocolate I told him one night.

He wasn’t even shocked. He told me several times before he had wondered if maybe that was what sometimes made me act so shy and quietly.

But of course he hadn’t ever been brave enough to ask me.

It was okay for him that I was a homosexual. I was relieved that Thom would stay me best friend. Even if you know that your best friend is always there for you, those kinds of things sometimes make you struggle, don’t they? At least they made me struggle a lot before now I had been able to just tell him.

It was a good feeling. Anytime, I would also have to tell my parents. But it wasn’t so important for this very moment.

There would be enough hurdles to take later anyways, so I was satisfied for now.
 

I was pretty surprised when one morning while driving to school with Simon he made me a proposal.

The summer full of all those events having changed my life was almost over.

Barry’s birthday party had been in this short summer.

I had slept with another man for the first time.

For a few moments I got carried away.

‘What about we go watching the new James Bond next Friday?’ Simon asked frankly.

‘We?’ I asked back.

‘Barry and I talked about that. It would be just him, you, your best friend (Thom?) and me of course.’ He smiled.

‘Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, of course I want!’

For a moment Simon looked out of his window, away from me, while driving.

I had the feeling he was hiding his even bigger smile.

‘Great, man.’ He said, took his right hand from the steering wheel and brushed my hair roughly.
 

I’ve always loved movies.

And I’ve always loved going into movie theatres.

Together with all the guys I liked was at least twice as good as going alone or with dudes I didn’t really know and I somehow thought of as being stupid jerks.

Simon was the only one of us four who had an own car, so he picked one after one of us up.

I was living closest to him so he picked up me first.

I wanted to enter his car on the front, but when I opened the passenger’s car he started laughing and shouted ‘You take a backseat, man. The passenger’s for Thommyboy!’

So I closed the door again and took the backseat on the right-hand side.

Next to be picked was Barry. He lived only two blocks away.

He climbed into the car and sat down next to me.

‘Hey Sam, how’re ya doin.’

‘Just fine. It’s gonna be great fun tonight, won’t it?’ I answered.

‘Yeah, for sure!’

Thom was already waiting in front of his parent’s house so Simon didn’t need to honk.

Simon turned on the radio.

‘That’s gonna be the greatest night you ever had, Sammy!’ Simon shouted cheerful.

I didn’t really understand why he only spoke to me.

After a while of driving I realized that Simon had taken a wrong turn.

‘Where do you drive? The movie theatre is…’ I was interrupted.

‘Yeah, yeah, yeah, we all know where the cinema is. But we have to pick up the special surprise for you!’ Barry shouted joyfully over the noise of the radio.

I was confused and got nervous. “Special surprise?” what did they talk about?

Even Thom seemed to be initiated. For a moment he turned around and looked at me, widely smiling.

Simon stopped in a small street.

I saw a shadow behind a curtain in the room which probably was the kitchen.

It vanished the moment Simon’s car stopped.

A moment later the front door opened and a boy in my age came outside.

In the dusk I could only hardly recognize his face.

He crossed the pavement and opened the back door and looked into my surprised face.

From the front of the car Simon shouted madly ‘Heeey! Mike! How’ve ya been doin’?!’

“Mike” still stood outside the car.

Simon turned towards me and told me loudly ‘Sam, you idiot. Could you maybe get into the middle so our special guest also fits in here?!’

I shoved up, very close to Barry so the new boy would also fit on the back seat.

Simon, still turned towards the back seats said ‘So, may I introduce Mike Kyung-Ah to you?’

The light in the car was still turned on so I could see the boy’s face.

He looked Asian, somehow really exotic.

Really beautiful.

He reached out his small hand and I took it.

‘I’m Sam, nice to meet you.’

Somehow my heart was beating too fast. It was only some guy Simon and Barry had invited to go into the movie theatre for today. My heart was racing anyways.

‘Nice to meet you too.’ He said, gently smiling.

In this car, on the way too small backseat, sitting almost on Barry’s lap, too close to this almost stranger, my heart was racing like it never had before.

He bit his lower lip. As he pulled back his soft hand, he again looked at me for a second.

From the corner of my eye I saw Simon smiling into Barry’s direction.

‘Gotta get goin’ before the film starts’ he whispered.

Another glance at Mike, then Simon turned off the light.

For me, as well as for him.

This was love at first sight.
 

~finished 27th Oct, 2008

Early Winter (Spin-off)

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